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My ten least favorite movies from 2007

December 7, 2007

Earlier this year I made a post about my ten favorite movies of 2006. I decided to do it again, but also wanted to add a list of the ten least favorite movies I’ve seen this year. Granted, the year is not yet over, and as a result, I will leave my ten favorite movies post for a later date. However, of the movies I have yet to see from 2007, I’m fairly certain none of them will crack the bottom team (except for maybe 300 and Beowulf).

So, first I will list the movies of 2007 I’ve seen by release date (I used this page for a list of all the theatrical releases):

Revolver – I saw the original release, but it is being re-released with changes for America
Epic Movie
Seraphim Falls
Smokin’ Aces
Farce of the Penguins
Bridge to Terabithia
Reno 911!: Miami
Astronaut Farmer, The
Number 23, The
Last Mimzy, The
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Blades of Glory
Lookout, The
Live Free or Die
Grindhouse – I saw Death Proof and Planet Terror separately
Hot Fuzz
Spider-Man 3
Ex, The
28 Weeks Later
Wendell Baker Story , The
Knocked Up
Ocean’s Thirteen
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
DOA: Dead or Alive
Grindhouse – Planet Terror
Death Proof
Evan Almighty
Live Free or Die Hard
Transformers, The
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
Simpsons Movie, The
Bourne Ultimatum, The
Hot Rod
Rush Hour 3
Balls of Fury
3:10 to Yuma
Brothers Solomon, The
Superman – Doomsday

OK, now for my ten least favorite movies countdown.

10. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – PG-13

This was by no means the worst movie of the year, and there are actually worse films on the list. However, I had to include this movie due to its horrific soundtrack and sub par editing. The rest of the films in the series have set such a high standard that anything less is a bitter disappointment, and thus we have HPOTP at number ten.

09. Ocean’s Thirteen – PG-13

Not unlike HPOTP, this film falls short of the rest of the series. It’s like they watched Ocean’s Twelve, and decided to make a whole movie by focusing on all of the worst bits. The movie just dragged on and on, and was cluttered with too many characters. If you can’t make a sequel better than the previous film, don’t make it all.

08. Sunshine – R

Sunshine is one of those movies that I almost really love, but end up hating. The movie has a rather meandering pace, but I don’t really mind that as I think it serves the theme a bit. The cast is strong, but the ending is so jarringly abrupt that it only served to piss me off. I put this film on the list with a caveat though. I think it’s possible that I might change my mind with another viewing. I’m just a little too hesitant to bother watching it again.

07. 28 Weeks Later – R

Yet another sequel. I’m sensing a trend here. If this wasn’t a sequel to a genuinely good film, I wouldn’t have put it in the bottom ten. It would merely be another crappily cliched horror movie for the masses minus the obligatory boobies. However, 28 Days Later was a groundbreaking horror film. Not only was the cast stronger, but its angle to the genre was completely different than anything I have seen before. Most critics improperly label both of these films as zombie flicks despite the fact that no zombies are actually present. The antagonists are just infected with a virus that causes rage. They aren’t undead. That makes 28 Days Later’s approach more understandable.

Most zombie films focus on society’s dissent into chaos while 28 Days Later focuses on the idea of waking up to find society completely shattered without a clue as to why. As a result, the character development is much more engaging. In typical zombie films, you almost want the main characters to die in a gruesome fashion even if you like them. 28 Weeks Later certainly follows that template. I couldn’t wait for the main characters to die, but I didn’t like any of them. They all deserved horrible deaths, and their demise didn’t come soon enough for my taste.

06. The Number 23 – R

What a waste of talent. It’s hard to find anything positive to say about this film. It starts slow, begins to get a tad interesting, and then you realize you’ve been completely screwed over by one of the crappiest stories ever told. You know it’s a truly bad movie when you realize that the nude, hot chick is probably the best part.

05. Spider-Man 3 – PG-13

Unlike the other sequels on the list, this film is no worse than its predecessors. Unfortunately, its predecessors sucked the big one too. The only good thing about any of these films is Bruce Campbell. Period. End of story. Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire are a scourge to cinema, and the mere sight of their faces incites me with undying rage. In fact, just typing this out has made me angry. Elmo could be crowned king of the world tomorrow, and I would still be happy if I knew Dunst and Maquire would never make another film.

04. Balls of Fury – PG-13

Balls of Fury looked like one of those comedies that are so bad that they’re good. Unfortunately, it’s just bad. I think a good deal of that could have been rectified with a stronger cast. Aside from Christopher Walken, Robert Patrick, Thomas Lennon, and Diedrich Bader, the cast fell well short of what it needed to be in order to compensate for a lacking script. I like Dan Fogler, but this film needed the likes of Will Ferrell to pull it out of the crapper. I was expecting more from Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, but it seemed as if all they had was a pitch for the film, and then wrote the script in a two-day binge of Red Bull and powdered donuts. If they’d have used five days it might have been awesome.

03. Farce of the Penguins – R

I love Bob Saget. He’s one of the filthiest and funniest comics around. This straight to video release had a great cast, but not much else. It was a spoof of the March of the Penguins film, and maybe watching that would have helped. I kept waiting for something funny to happen. I waited a long time.

02. DOA: Dead or Alive – PG-13

Not even Jaimie Pressly in a bikini could save this video game inspired crapfest. You know you’re in trouble when Eric Roberts is the bad guy AND you have a wrestler in your film who isn’t The Rock. That’s a duo no film could overcome.

01. 1408 – PG-13

I should have known better with this film. Most of the Stephen King inspired movies seem to have really crappy endings, but John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson! How could that possibly be bad? Just watch 1408. It can be. The scene with Jackson was fun to watch, but the rest was a struggle. I hated Cusack’s character so much that he could have been on the verge of curing cancer, and I’d still want him to fail. A truly crappy film.

Dishonorable Mention: The Brothers Solomon and Epic Movie

EDIT: I’ve been adding some films as I watch them.

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