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The Top 5 Actors I Hate the Most

July 5, 2008

Johnny Depp

This is the manliest he has ever looked.

Depp counts as all five because I hate him so much. Virtually every role is so over-the-top flamboyant that stupid people think he is a good actor. Teenage girls are the most susceptible morons on this cavalcade of dimwittedness, but they are somehow not alone. The number of guys with a mancrush on cool guy is astounding.

If I never saw his face again I might die placated, but I doubt it as the trauma he has induced to my psyche can never be undone.

Without a doubt, Depp is today’s winner of the Douche Bag of the Day.

In fact, unless expressly noted, he’s the default winner every day.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. KEW permalink
    July 5, 2008 10:13 pm

    “every role is so over-the-top flamboyant”

    Edward Scissorhands, Benny & Joon – understated homages to the silent greats Keaton and Chaplin.

    What’s Eating Glibert Grape? – fully internalized frustration and hopelessness.

    Dead Man – an almost silent transformation from innocent to all-too-human damned soul.

    Donnie Brasco – so controlled, his co-star was forced to dial down into one of his best portrayals in years.

    The Ninth Gate – downright subterranean.

    Chocolate – small role, smooth and subtle.

    Finding Neverland – all the restraint fitting a man of James Barrie’s temperament and social standing. Maybe even more.

    Sweeney Todd – Some critics felt the performance was too internalized, that his rage should have been always front and center instead of simmering beneath the surface,

    But how many of the films I’ve listed have you actually seen? Certainly not Finding Neverland, as admitted in your tribute to Kate Winslet.

    If the character is flamboyant, then shouldn’t the portrayal follow suit? Cry Baby Walker, Ed Wood, Raoul Duke, George Jung, Captain Jack and Willy Wonka are all larger than life, in your face characters.

    Is it the actor and his abilities you dislike, or merely the roles he has chosen? Or does it have nothing to do with his acting, and you’ve simply decided to hate him on general principal. Given the inclusion of Jim Carey and Robin Williams on your top 10 list, your ‘over-the-top’ argument does not hold water.

  2. July 5, 2008 10:28 pm

    When you get your hands out of your pants, let me know.

    Obviously, when someone makes a list of the 5 Actresses or Actors they “HATE,” objective thought takes a back seat to subjective.

    As per your question however, the original criteria (that was clearly indicated prior to my overwriting debacle with the Top 10 actors) is indeed based on exhibited skill AND the roles indicating such skill. In other words, the selection of roles is a major component. It’s unfortunate that the original post was deleted as it would have cleared that bit up for you.

    As you said, Depp seems to congregate towards such flamboyant roles. The kind of roles that cater to teenyboppers. The kind of roles I hate. The kind of roles that tend to ruin the cinematic experience due to their cliched and hackneyed attributes.

    I’m not saying there isn’t a place for Depp in the cinematic world. I’m just saying I want no part of the portion of the cinematic world he caters to.

  3. KEW permalink
    July 5, 2008 11:41 pm

    Such a pithy and utterly predictable adolescent comeback.

    I have no problem with your subjective view; to each his own. My only issue is the flimsy foundation on which you’ve based your view. If you hate the Pirates Trilogy, fine. Wonka, well and good. Scissorhands, OK. 21 Jump Street, I’m with you. That leaves a couple dozen additional films to consider, the vast majority of which never have and never will cater to teenyboppers. Again, how many have you actually seen?

    You’ve made up your mind that nothing on Depp’s CV is worthy of your consideration. So be it. I’ve said my peace (which I believe is the point, no?) and will now leave you to the cinematic glories of Jim Carey in Ace Ventura, The Mask and Lemony Snicket.

  4. July 6, 2008 12:12 am

    Haha, someone has sand in their vagina.

    Your sycophantic defense of Depp essentially makes my case for me. Thank you.

    By the way, you need to look up the word subjective. If you accept my use of it in forming my opinion of Depp as you claim, then you have no justification to question the reasoning behind such an opinion. Hating Depp, if only for his fan base as I perceive it, is a perfect example of a subjective opinion if the objective analysis offers differing evidence.

    Now, if you’re willing to concede that the foundation of my opinion is completely accurate, as you must if you take umbrage with it despite my claim that it be mostly subjective, then I will withdraw the assertion that it is subjective.

    Either way, I’m still right, and you’re still wrong. Don’t you just love the internet and these pedantic pissing matches?

  5. July 6, 2008 10:35 pm

    OK boys, that’s enough :) I still think he’s HOT – whether or not he can act.

  6. July 6, 2008 11:48 pm

    I’m not sure if KEW is male, female, or Depp. It would be funny if it were Kate Winslet.

    Either way, it doesn’t matter. I just don’t like Depp for several reasons not the least among them is his popularity. Is that fair to him? No, but I never claimed to be fair in this listing business. I realized I never answered KEW’s question in regards to which films of Depp’s I had seen. I have seen Grape, and he was certainly solid.

    When we get right down to it, I hate Depp, Burton, and Carter because of their fans. I hate their fans, and as a result I hate them.

  7. Webby permalink
    July 17, 2008 6:08 pm

    I like the logo. hehe So, are you gonna put another post on here soon or what? hehe

  8. July 17, 2008 6:26 pm

    Thanks, yeah I will try and post something tonight or tomorrow. Just been doing other poop.

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